29 Days

So, I dropped a pretty large atomic bomb in yesterdays post. I only did so because that is how it was delivered to me. Well, I take that back; I began to see this coming one day prior.
At first, I hated him. I was livid, panicked, you name it. And of course, I learned when something serious was going down while in public… via text message no less. I publically freaked out and sought out the first person who came to mind: Jordan McDaniel. I called him and he and I went for a walk around Lake Loveland. It really calmed me down and put me in a sane frame of mind.

As soon as I stepped in the door after the walk, Kelly called to… negotiate the terms of our break up. He says that this whole this isn’t meant to hurt me. He just wants to see me do well on my own along with entering basic training with a clear frame of mind. I couldn’t grasp why this was necessary and I had no say in the matter… aside from when it will be official. The day he leaves for basic is the day the relationship ends. All this the day before I’m supposed to fly out and see him?

I chose to go Illinois nonetheless. It was a difficult decision and one that greatly upset my mother. I found some romantic notion that he’d fall in love with me all over again when he first saw me in the Bloomington airport, or that maybe that was all a test to see if I loved him enough to still see him and not let the feelings of pain and anger get in my way.

His mom came to pick me up around 7:10, three hours after this nuke was deployed on my heart. I had to tell her what had happened. I wasn’t nervous though; I was more afraid of how Kelly would react to me telling his mother before he could than how she would react to the news. I started by asking just what the psychic she sees had said about my relationship with her son. She went into details I already knew and when she was finished, I said “Well, he’s emphasized the ‘individual’ part of our future together”. Initially, she seemed shocked and sympathetic and said everything that I needed to hear. She explained what she figured his intention(s) were and, all in all, she was spot on. All of the explanations she offered matched up with the texts he had sent me just a few hours prior. She also put a great deal of emphasis on the fact that I “hold a special place in her heart” and she told me several times that she loves me, wants to see me with her son in the future and fully believes that Kelly and I will someday reconnect and it will be as if we never “missed a beat”. Her personal examples, her word choice, her reassurance, her precise knowledge of where Kel is coming from… all of it put the pieces of my heart back together. I was no longer bitter; his intentions no longer felt spiteful. I found the confidence in our relationship again and I went to bed that night happy.

I woke up at 4:00 this morning. Yeah; I’m pretty confident in saying that I hate early mornings far more than you do. They give me an upset stomach; couple that insane motion sickness. I knew that today would be a bit difficult on my body.

We got to DIA, checked my bag and said our goodbyes in front of security. That’s where I learned I’m not always the brightest crayon in the box. While going through security, I forgot to remove my cell phone from my shorts pocket. So I got “pat down”—their kinder way of saying first base with a chick wearing rubber gloves. No big deal; my phone isn’t a bomb. It was just a huge waste of everyone’s time. I gathered myself and went to my terminal… where I bought the bagel of my dreams! No, seriously. I’ve had several dreams about Einstein Brother’s Bagels. Too bad I couldn’t eat it. Stupid wisdom teeth!

The flight to Minnesota was fine. I was stuck in the aisle seat but, lucky for me, the middle seat was unoccupied. I am currently in the last two hours of my four and a half hour layover here in the Minneapolis/St Paul International Airport. Lucky for Mom, there are tons of sport shops here, so I went ahead and bought her a deck of Minnesota Vikings playing cards (she collects playing cards and loves the Vikings). I had lunch at a Chili’s… which I was also unable to eat. I think I’ve killed as much time as possible and I still have two hours left. Hurray.