Year and A Half Anniversary

So today is our year and a half anniversary. I look back on the memories Kelly and I have shared, and a year and a half feels like six weeks; time really does fly when you're having fun. I couldn't have picked a better man to share this time with; he makes me incredibly happy, he sticks by my side despite tough situations, and he loves me with an intensity that I've only ever seen in romance novels.

Well I figure that, due to it being our anniversary and all, I should let you in on the bigh secret. Two days ago, on July 28th, I recieved a letter from Kelly. It was written on July 21st--the day before he actually began basic; for some reason his processing was two weeks long, and has only pointlessly extended his time away from me. Anywho, in this particular letter, he updated me about his leave--apparently, because processing was so long and now slipping in to both Jump School and Honor Guard training, he will most likely miss Christmas. However, when he does get to take his first leave, he wants to come home and get married. No, I'm not kidding and yes, I'm still in shock about this. I looked for any clue in this letter to tell me that I was mireading this in some way or another. I'll include the picture he drew on the back of the letter.


This is exactly what I have wanted all this time. This gave the hope back that he took away when he told me he "changed his mind" about the idea of marraige so soon. This is what he said, verbatum:
"There I would liek to get married. The wedding would have to wait till I have more time in the military, but it would be official federally. I would go back to base, give them my marital license and other things... Then you should be able to move on base with me."

So, he proposed the idea of proposing soon...? Whatever he did, it makes me EXTREMELY happy. To the point where I have already began to gather large piles of junk for donation and fill a large box of stuff to sell on Craig's List. I'm trying to figure out what to bring with us to Washington DC where he'll be stationed and what I can leave at home with my mom. I've got until late January to figure all of this out, but far be it from me to let a project sit idle.

The only thing that I'm not waiting on a letter to answer me about is school. I'm continuing on my plan to be a student at FRCC, even if it is only one semester. I don't know if I will transfer to a different school out in DC or take online classes for my spring semester, but I'm planning on not missing a beat when it comes to getting my degree.

So, you can say we're engaged to be in engaged. Due to the haste to get married and the confusion I have about what exactly we are now, I have refrained from telling many people. I am so excited, I just had to put it on here. I can't wait to get the chance to hear him say it on the phone... someday soon.

July 27th: An update

Kelly has been gone since July 11th, but has just recently begun his basic training. I've recieved 10 letters from him so far and have written 15 myself. Soon, I will recieve, by mail, the instructions of how and where to send his letters. However, none of this makes me miss him any less.

I write to him all day, everyday. Because of this, the letters I will be sending will be thorough, but it has made me lose touch with the blog so much that the only thing I could think of doing was posting the letters to him.

Now, I realize that the format for which they are posted really... sucks, but it was the easiest way for me to recap my trip out to Washington for you. Also, I will not be posting the letters I get from him because I feel that they are just too personal and too dear to me to exploit them online.

Nothing extremely significant has happened since returning from Washington. Except... we got kittens! Two orange sister kittens, Pixie and Razz. No, I didnot name them. They are cuter than all get out and they purr very loudly. I can't wait for Kelly to meet these two in November when he comes home on leave.

Kelly BCT Letter 7

Kelly BCT Letter 6

Kelly BCT Letter 5

Kelly BCT Letter 4

Wednesday in Washington

I've been consumed with writing since Kelly left. I've got this blog and I've written him almost everyday about the small events in my everday life and the several paged letters are begging to pile up in my notebook. I'm increasingly proud of my ability to describe the insiginificant details of everday things; I just wrote a paragraph in today's letter about the miraculous showerhead my father installed in the bathroom we're using out here. He told me to make the letters as detailed as possible, so I'm just following his orders.

It helps that I'm out here on vacation with everything from the water to the skyscrapers to describe to him. I'm trying to take pictures of everything to add that extra umph to the letters. Of course, I have to wait until I get home to send them; I need to know his unit and a specific color to dot the envelopes with before mailing anything out to him. I already have a plan, too. I researched what and how to mail to your soldier online, and I learned that they get a daily mail call--even in BCT. So I'm going to write a bunch while out here and then, once I get his address, I'm going to mail one letter a day so he'll have at least one good thing happen to him every day. I'm just hoping that I can keep in the swing of writing to him after school really starts up.

I'm also scanning the letters to my laptop and printing out a copy for the book of letters I have been writing to him since March 2010. It's a precautionary method incase he loses them or someone steals them. I don't want any huge gaps in what is essentially the story of our relationship.

Kelly BCT Letter 2

0 Day

It's the first day that I will go without seeing him. I haven't gotten out of bed and it's nearing two o'clock.

My phone is glued to my hand and I jump everytime it goes off, thinking that it's Kelly texting me to say he's it DIA and boarding to ATL. I later learned, after he was at this third round of MEPS in the past twelve months, he won't be flying out until tomorrow at 10:55. I keep getting all these extra moments and chances to talk to him. It's torture that he's only an hour away.

He gave me a nice wake up call, saying he was on his way to MEPS and wouldn't really be able to talk until everyone's physicals end. I haven't heard from him since and the silence is begging to set in. Whenever he and I are apart, we're always texting and keeping in touch. I can't imagine what the next 70-some days will be like until I go down to Georgia to see him graduate from BCT.

Kelly BCT Letter 1

1 Day

We took Kelly to the recruiters station at noon today. After waiting twenty minutes or so, his government-paid ride to take him to Denver showed up and I said goodbye for the last time before basic.

As his mom and I drove away from the station, we waved at Kelly in his shuttle and it was absolutely heart breaking: the windows were tinted black and we couldn't see his shining face for the last time.

I didn't cry until I got home. I tried so very hard to keep it all together in front of his mom and the Sargent at the station. Now, I can't stop crying.
I could not be more heart broken.

4 Days

My outlook livened today when I was told what Kelly will be allowed to do during basic. -He gets to use his cell phone every Sunday -He can recieve and write letters whenever Those two, very simple facts have stopped me from crying, as now I'll have contact with him. Though it's not face-to-face, it means the world to me. The feeling of impending-utter-aloneness has decreased and nearly vanished because I won't be completely without him. He has also taken it upon himself to make a monthly deposit into my bank account. I can't tell you why, aside from the fact that he cares for me, but it's something that astonishes me. Granted, this news isn't new: he told me over the phone while he was in Illinois (the night I saw X-Men, I believe) that this was something he wanted to do. Since that call, it's only been brought up two to five times; I haven't wanted to mention anything in fear of how it might come off to him. It came up in conversation today, and now we have plans to go to the bank tomorrow and set up a direct deposit to occur on the 30th of every month. All in all, it has been a good day. I hope these last few can be at least as good.

5 Days

These last few days haven't been cheery to say the very least. In fact, there were five different people crying simultaneously last night over broken hearts and empathy for one another. It was incredibly heart-wrenching and angering for me and the six or so who maintained dry eyes.

We had a party; it was a poorly thought out idea. "Yeah! We'll give everyone liquid depressants to say goodbye to someone we all love! Yeah!" I had already woken up on the cranky/teary side of the bed yesterday morning and had spent the day attempting to get my head in the right frame of mind. I eventually was people-friendly and the party began a few hours later. It wasn't until everyone had consumed a fair amount for people to start crying over their ex's, their heart breaks and Kelly's all too soon departure. I was already getting to a high stress level when I walked in on the sobbing; everytime I did, I would immediately leave the area, knowing full well that I would get caught up in the waterworks if given the chance.

It got to the point where I was avoiding everyone whether they were crying or not, as the crying was all anyone seemed to talk about. I had smoked several Prime Times in a thirty minute duration to give me the excuse to be outside alone; as soon as more than one person came outside, I would finish the cigar and find a new unoccupied place. This cycle happened several times. My drive to be in solitude was a large tip off that something more was going on than I was letting them in on, and people continued to question me about it... especially Kelly. Soon, Kelly found me sitting alone outside and, essentially, trapped me. He began talking about everyone elses woes and how his leaving spawned the emotional outbursts. He asked me what was wrong for the umpteenth time, and I finally caved in and told him the same thing I've been telling him for weeks on end: I don't want him to leave and his leaving is making me incredibly sad. I instantly began to sob uncontrollably and we sat outside until I could contain myself.

Once I had regained my composure, we returned to everyone's crying fest... where my friends got me to cry a little more. Amanda let me know that she and all the girls would be there if I ever needed them for anything at anytime of the day or night. I love these girls, but it wasn't until that moment that I realized they honestly loved me back. Amanda's reason for being emotional was based almost souly on empathy for me and what I'm going through with Kelly's military career, and they all tearfully nodded in agreement. Then they all circled around me in a very emotional group hug.

It was nearing two in the morning, which is shocking for me as I am always the first one in bed for the night. Kelly had came upstairs to say the he'd be coming up to bed when everyone had their place to sleep figured out. He came up two times before going to bed to hold and check on me. He said some incredibly sweet things--things I was dying to hear--things like "I'm going to miss you the most out of everyone" and "You and the military are what I live for", but my emotions were at an all time low. Seeing everyone cry had made me more of a caretaker than someone who needed to be taken care of... not to mention the aforementioned crying I had participated in had left me drained. I felt so cold hearted as my instinctual reaction to shrug off his loving words and actions came to pass.

I fell asleep after Kelly came to bed but for a short while, as I spent the majority of the night tossing and turning and attempting to get comfortable. People departed by 10:30 and Kelly and I have since showered, washed dishes, put away all the blankets and pillows, and picked up the trash from the night before. We intend on relaxing and recovering today. As for the rest of his time here, I have a feeling it will be nothing more than emotional.

8 Days

My mind has been racing with "last"s of mine and Kelly's: today is the last real personal day he'll have; tomorrow is the last night he'll be staying at my house; Monday is our first/only (so far) Fourth of July together; Tuesday begins the last string of nights I'll be able to stay at his house. In 8 days, he'll be gone.

I already miss him. It feels odd, as he is still here. Every extremely adorable thing he does, I'm reminded that I won't be able to see him do that for months... if the Army doesn't kill his cute side. I am so afraid that he won't come back as the Kelly he left as.

I realize that I'm whining. As the day draws nearer, I feel more and more confident that everything will somehow be ok.

9 Days

Today Kelly and I are spending the day getting everything ready for him to leave. By everything, I mean everything in my life. He's working on making things easier for me and giving me the necessary things to live here with for one more year. We figured out, after hours of pointless tinkering and calls to both Comcast and Microsoft, that I needed a new wireless router to run Xbox Live. We went to Wal-Mart and I shelled out $75 to buy one that works on his system. Not only does it run without a problem, but it's much faster than the one I originally had. It also took hours and several returns to get a locking doorknob for my bedroom. I've always wanted to ensured privacy and my mom never allowed it, citing it as dangerous and unnecessary... and she still feels that way. Kelly talked me into following through on it last night, pointing out that I'm 18 and deserve the privacy and that I have his Xbox in my room and he doesn't want anything (specifically my brother) to happen to it while he's away. I really only plan on spending one more year (at most) out here in Colorado. By this time next summer, I want to be moving in to a place of my own... or at least out of my mom's house. It's already time for me to go. I'm being held back by my desire to go to FRCC for at least a semester. If I hate it, I'll move out to Illinois before spring semester begins; if all goes as I expect, I'll be moving (possibly out there) right after my 19th birthday. I want to be somewhere Kelly wants to be on leave and I want to be happy wherever that place is. Finding that place is my new goal.

10 Days

Yesterday was not only our 17 month anniversary, but my first ever camping trip. Kelly and I went camping up in the mountains with several of our good friends last night and it was an... adventure. I can say that I did enjoy myself, but I refuse to go with the same people. Before going camping, Kelly and I met up with his mom for lunch. It was really nice and neither of us can believe that we didn't think of doing it earlier. We were picked up from my house around six and drove up to Storm Mountain. We got there to find that most of our friends had been drunk fod hours. Then the wind, rain and lightening began to pick up as we attempted to set up our brand new tent. It was truely miserable; everyone was soaking wet and going numb. It took at least half an hour to get the damn tent put up, and once it was, we all piled into cars to wait out the remainder of the storm. By the time the storm passed, everyone had piled into one car and resumed their drinking. We eventually got out and began to gossip, eat junk food and watch the sun set. Then someone had the bright idea to smoke hookah in our tent; I was one of three people who chose not to smoke. All too soon did I hear the hookah knock over and everyone screaming that they burnt two very large holes in the bottom of the tent with the coals. Kelly seemed less than pleased and I was upset that the person who knocked it over seemed to feel little remorse for her drunken actions. They then put the hookah away and built a campfire which we sat at for a while. My stomach was upset and the smoke was blowing directly at me; I had curled up into a ball for no more than twenty minutes when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I was Kelly, motioning to the tent. We went in, made ourselves a bed and attempted to fall asleep despite the roar of our beyond-drunk friends. We awoke when everyone went to bed. We only had two other people in our tent with us, but those two people decided to talk to one another loudly and make out in the most disgusting manor all night long. Now, this was a close friend that I once had a lot of respect for. She was well aware that she and her toy weren't the only ones in OUR tent and she knew that we were awake throughout all of it as well. I could not be more upset and it completely ruined the camping trip for me. We woke up, packed up and headed out. Today we shall buy a new tent.