So, today marks the 19th month Kelly and I have been dating--a term I am still using loosly due to the fact that I still have no idea where our relationship stands.
It was an average day, filled with homework and lectures and mind-numbing things of the sort. I was taking a break from my Psychology homework and watching the evening news on my bed while my kitten purred in her sleep next to me when my phone wrang.
It was Kelly. This was the first phone call he has been given since beginning BCT. Ironically enough, it happened to be on our anniversary--something he admitted to not even realizing. With as much stress as he's being put through and the hell he has to pay for every letter he recieves (25 pushups per letter; currently owes 275 pushups), I do not blame him for forgetting.
I am so elated that he called. Hearing him say the works "I love you" and getting to make sure he's okay and hearing that we are indeed getting engaged when I go out to Georgia in a mere 17 days is giving me the motivation to get through the next 17 days until I see him next.
I love him and our ironic timing. <3
8.30.2011
8.27.2011
My First Week of College
Wow, whatta week. It was stressful, delightful, and eduational all in one.
Driving myself to school everyday is a new concept for me, so to be sure I'm always timing things perfectly, I set alarms on my phone to go off 20 minutes before every class. It's actually saved my ass already. On Thursday, I mixed up the time my History class beging with the time my English class begins; if that alarm wouldn't have gone off, I would have missed the entire class. Thank goodness for technology.
I love having something to do during the day. I'm not going to lie, it's already challenging and I am already overwhelmed. To put it simply, there are just too many papers to write. For each class, there is a series of papers that I need to write in seemingly record time. Not to mention all of the different citation styles we've been forced to use. My English teached explained why there are seperate styles and who will assign what to us just last Friday, but c'mon... Do I really need to learn this "Chichago Style" for citation? Can't everyone just be happy using MLA?
I do miss Kelly wuite a bit. I fear that I will soon have trouble writing a letter to him everyday due to the workload this semester will bring, but I've figured out how to manage. I will write first thing in the morning and take the notebook I write in with me on my daily adventures and write whenever there is a spare moment; this gives me a better opportuninty to get all of the details of the day and then I don't get overwhelmed by a mass amount of writing at night. If worse comes to worst, I can write a breif summary everyday (as opposed to my 6 page explainations) and send it weekly. That's the absolute bare minimum, however.
My classes are awesome. My teachers are awesome. I just wish Kel was here with me.
I see him in 20 days(:
Driving myself to school everyday is a new concept for me, so to be sure I'm always timing things perfectly, I set alarms on my phone to go off 20 minutes before every class. It's actually saved my ass already. On Thursday, I mixed up the time my History class beging with the time my English class begins; if that alarm wouldn't have gone off, I would have missed the entire class. Thank goodness for technology.
I love having something to do during the day. I'm not going to lie, it's already challenging and I am already overwhelmed. To put it simply, there are just too many papers to write. For each class, there is a series of papers that I need to write in seemingly record time. Not to mention all of the different citation styles we've been forced to use. My English teached explained why there are seperate styles and who will assign what to us just last Friday, but c'mon... Do I really need to learn this "Chichago Style" for citation? Can't everyone just be happy using MLA?
I do miss Kelly wuite a bit. I fear that I will soon have trouble writing a letter to him everyday due to the workload this semester will bring, but I've figured out how to manage. I will write first thing in the morning and take the notebook I write in with me on my daily adventures and write whenever there is a spare moment; this gives me a better opportuninty to get all of the details of the day and then I don't get overwhelmed by a mass amount of writing at night. If worse comes to worst, I can write a breif summary everyday (as opposed to my 6 page explainations) and send it weekly. That's the absolute bare minimum, however.
My classes are awesome. My teachers are awesome. I just wish Kel was here with me.
I see him in 20 days(:
8.12.2011
My First Car
So today, I got my first car. It is a red, 2000 Pontiac Grand Am and I love it! I couldn't be more excited to put up by Army bumper sticker and my Army decal. I also have my LHS graduation tassle hanging from my rearview mirror along with the necklace of Kelly's that I bought him in Estes Park.I really wish Kelly was here to enjoy this experience with me. This is my first car and I have only had my license for, oh, let's say three weeks. I had to run many errands today and I couldn't help but wish Kel was the man in the passenger seat as opposed to my father. I love him and I miss him more than ever. Yesterday, I got a letter which informed me that he has received all of my letters. It's extremely thrilling for me that he now knows of the events in my life for the past month. Yes, it has been a month. Today, I received three letters. To thinking back on the letters I received today, the most prominent facts are as follows:
-we are not currently engaged, but he will be proposing when he sees me next (: So that means...
-after the 36 hours leave, we will officially only be engaged!
-he's extremely proud of me for getting my license
-he enjoyed all the pictures I sent him
But most importantly. . .
-he has regained the sense of drive to complete OSUT
As of today,I have a 43 days left flying solo; 43 days too long to give us the. Kelly seems more than the excited to see the next. He's having all these wild food cravings and I know he can only be craving something else. . . (; I miss absolutely everything about him, even the way we used to argue. I would give absolutely anything to just happened that. Even if all we did this argue and fight over the pettiest things in life, at least I'd be arguing with him.
8.11.2011
For Love
Well, it's interesting what you will do for love or, rather, what Kelly will do for love. All his life he has wanted to be the first one in to war, so he intended on joining the Marines. Then one day his freind, Colton, to hold him about the Army Rangers. Since the day he and I met, he has wanted to be a Ranger.
We all know how our perspectives changed when we've fallen in love; it's a given. We learn new things and meet new people. I had been told by Kelly that he never pictured himself falling in love until he met me; he told me that he assumed love wasn't in the cards for him. I, on the other hand, always wanted this crazy, romantic love story. I had figured I had found that with him, and from what I had been learning he had found it too.
I received a letter today with the beautiful opening line; "Holy shit, I got your mail today! My spirits are rejuvenated. I cried when I got them. The drill sergeant was funny as hell when he saw me pull out 21 letters. He was like 'Holy fuck, guy. Is that from your girlfriend? Isn't she supposed to be in college?' Everyone was cheering." I am very glad these letters to make him so happy... even more so that they arrived to him. Now here's some good, and/or bad news. He tells me that his new want in the military is no longer Airborne and Ranger. " I want to honor guard because I get to the home more. If I get honor guard, I will not do Airborne or Rangers. Granted that may change after a few years, but as it stands I just want you close."
I'm not sure how to feel about this. I mean, I'm very happy that he's so eager to spend his life with me, but I don't know him not wanting to be a ranger. Mixed emotions. Mixed signals. I don't know what to do.
We all know how our perspectives changed when we've fallen in love; it's a given. We learn new things and meet new people. I had been told by Kelly that he never pictured himself falling in love until he met me; he told me that he assumed love wasn't in the cards for him. I, on the other hand, always wanted this crazy, romantic love story. I had figured I had found that with him, and from what I had been learning he had found it too.
I received a letter today with the beautiful opening line; "Holy shit, I got your mail today! My spirits are rejuvenated. I cried when I got them. The drill sergeant was funny as hell when he saw me pull out 21 letters. He was like 'Holy fuck, guy. Is that from your girlfriend? Isn't she supposed to be in college?' Everyone was cheering." I am very glad these letters to make him so happy... even more so that they arrived to him. Now here's some good, and/or bad news. He tells me that his new want in the military is no longer Airborne and Ranger. " I want to honor guard because I get to the home more. If I get honor guard, I will not do Airborne or Rangers. Granted that may change after a few years, but as it stands I just want you close."
I'm not sure how to feel about this. I mean, I'm very happy that he's so eager to spend his life with me, but I don't know him not wanting to be a ranger. Mixed emotions. Mixed signals. I don't know what to do.
8.09.2011
...and just where do we stand?
I'm more than confused as to where my relationship really stands with Kelly. It seems like once I think I have it figured out and that he and I are on the smae page, I get word that it's the exact opposite of whatever I think it to be.
--On June 10th, the day before flying out to Illinois, I got a text from Kelly saying that he and I are splitting up when he goes to basic.
--On July 21st, I got a letter about how he wants to get married so we can be together again, as marraige is what it takes in the military to make a relationship...work.
--On August 4th, he writes a letter asking about what kind of engagement ring I'd like. In that same letter, he says "So while I'm here make sure you do all you want to do with whomever. Remember we are split now, but I'd like to get back ASAP when I'm done here. If you find someone else then that's the way it is, but just make sure you want me 100%..."
What thee hell? 'Lets get marred as soon as we can, but in the meantime you can go screw whomever and I won't think twice about it.' I am so very confused as to what is okay. For the record, there is no one else nor do I want anyone for the meantime. I just... never seem to know where he and I stand. I thought we were back together when this whole engagement thing came up, and apparantly we're not...
I can't wrap my head anything anymore. Just as soon as I "have" a grasp on the situation at hand, I learn that I am completely wrong.
--On June 10th, the day before flying out to Illinois, I got a text from Kelly saying that he and I are splitting up when he goes to basic.
--On July 21st, I got a letter about how he wants to get married so we can be together again, as marraige is what it takes in the military to make a relationship...work.
--On August 4th, he writes a letter asking about what kind of engagement ring I'd like. In that same letter, he says "So while I'm here make sure you do all you want to do with whomever. Remember we are split now, but I'd like to get back ASAP when I'm done here. If you find someone else then that's the way it is, but just make sure you want me 100%..."
What thee hell? 'Lets get marred as soon as we can, but in the meantime you can go screw whomever and I won't think twice about it.' I am so very confused as to what is okay. For the record, there is no one else nor do I want anyone for the meantime. I just... never seem to know where he and I stand. I thought we were back together when this whole engagement thing came up, and apparantly we're not...
I can't wrap my head anything anymore. Just as soon as I "have" a grasp on the situation at hand, I learn that I am completely wrong.
8.04.2011
8.01.2011
August 1st
I stalked the mailbox for over two hours today. The mail finally came and I got Kelly's address in the mail today along with 5 other letters.I am overjoyed about this.
The mail lady came to the door because he included a brochure on Fort Benning and it was a little heavy, thus making me pay $0.20 for it. It is a big deal, but not for the obvious reason. Because she was at the door with his address in hand, I was able to address the package of letters as she read his address to me and hand her all 22 letters I have written for him. Plus, this saved me exactly 16 stamps. I am SO beyond excited for him to get this fairly large bundle of letters! He's going to love it. Today is the first opportunity I've had to send him anything and now I'm proving that I've been writing letters to and recieving letters from him.
I miss him so much. I've probably written that fact at least 5 times in the letter I've written to him today. I'm dying to see him and simply recieve a hug and a kiss. I can't wait for that day.
I miss him so much. I've probably written that fact at least 5 times in the letter I've written to him today. I'm dying to see him and simply recieve a hug and a kiss. I can't wait for that day.
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